to be alone.

a couple of weeks ago I decided to speak to one of my good friends Khalil, about how important it is to be comfortable with being alone. as we continued to converse, I realized that many people don’t understand that being alone or lonely is not always a bad thing. being alone is often associated with not having friends, which isn’t the case. your alone time is sacred to you and it should be practiced more often.

truthfully, when I had the idea to write this post I wanted to write it completely different… until I listened to a couple of podcasts that truly changed my view and understanding of being indifferent to one another. the one podcast that stood out to me was QLC by Shahad Mamalchi (**link to the episode below). in her podcast, she talked about introversion and extroversion while being in a pandemic. while I don’t see myself as a complete introvert, I do share many qualities with introverted people that have really helped my comfort levels with being alone. I won’t lie to you guys, at the beginning of the pandemic I really struggled with being in my house all day, not seeing my friends took a toll on me and I felt extremely lonely. I took this as an opportunity to work on myself, as I said before being alone doesn’t always have to be a bad thing. the greater idea of working on yourself is; you have to think about “what is the one quality that’s making you the worse version of the best version of yourself?”. to put it into simpler terms, what is something you can change to become a better you?

in my case and many others, it was not feeling obligated to rely on others for comfort. I came to the ultimate conclusion that I would rather be alone than be in bad company. Shahad mentioned some things that resonated with me, like how the core five people around you are a reflection of who you are. think about the people you barely talk to, the dead plants you’re watering, the plants that are healthy and happy, and all the people that may be associated with you. in my opinion, the pandemic is the perfect opportunity to have a fresh start, evaluate yourself, your life, your friends, your acquaintances and so much more. i’m not telling you to cut off all your friends and move to Nebraska. i’m trying to help you understand that, not having as many friends as desired and being alone should be viewed as a good thing. Henry Rollins says, “loneliness adds beauty to life. it puts a special burn on sunsets and makes night air smell better”, this is a reflection of my thought; the simple things that you are interested in simply become better. this just proves that when Shahad said “loneliness is addictive” she was completely right. I hope you read this, listen to Shahad’s podcast, and let it marinate within you as we are still in the pandemic. my best advice to you is that regardless of what you’ve been through, it’s never too late to self-reflect and be the best version of yourself.

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