独家优惠奖金 100% 高达 1 BTC + 180 免费旋转

Getting Brave One Jump at a Time

How pushing the boundaries of my comfort zone created my best year yet!

I told myself on New Year’s Day last year that 2017 was going to be my year. I was going to make 2017 my bitch, and I was going to be the Queen of my own destiny. I had goals I wanted to achieve and dreams I wanted to make reality. It was time to wage war on life and take no prisoners.

Like millions of other resolution makers, I told myself I wasn’t going to let fear stand in my way. Fears of failure, disappointment, embarrassment and injury have plagued me throughout my life. I have always been “blessed” with an active imagination. Unfortunately, it seems to be permanently set on finding the worst case scenario and then fixating on it until I am nothing more than a quivering puddle of fear-scented sweat on the floor.

I knew just making resolutions wasn’t going to cut it. I needed a plan. I needed to surround myself with the strong, the fearless, the brave. I also knew my freakishly well-muscled sense of self-preservation was going to get in the way. So I needed to start slow. I told myself I was going to start with just getting out of my very comfortable comfort zone. So each month, I was going to set one goal, do one thing, to push me out of my zone. To hold me accountable, I was going to put it on social media, so if I didn’t do it, there was the fear of embarrassment for NOT being brave enough to chase after my goals.

And you know what happened? It worked. I am entering 2018 maybe a little worse for wear, but it was probably the most personally rewarding year I have had in decades. And it all happened one month at a time, and one jump at a time.

January

January’s goal was to go to a jumping clinic at Morven Park held by top rider and trainer, Paul Ebersole. I had trained with Paul for years, and I knew him to be an excellent trainer that I would learn from in a safe and supportive atmosphere. The fear I was working to conquer was borne of a terrible accident I had in 2008, when I was thrown from a horse during the stadium jumping at a competition and broke my back. I hadn’t done much jumping since then, despite having a different (and safer) horse. This was also going to be a group lesson, so I was also stressing that I was doing this in front of an audience.

I really thought about cancelling last minute. I was scared. What if I fell, got hurt, embarrassed myself or peed my pants from fear?

Looking back, I realized I never thought about the positives. What if I have fun? What if I do well? What if my horse, Mashallah, turns out to be an incredible jumper?

We had a blast. Mashallah jumped beautifully, and after the first few jumps my fear was forgotten. I focused on the tasks at hand, and became more and more confident and determined to tackle every jumping question head on. By the time we were done, I was eager and excited for February’s part two clinic.

February

Mashallah and I did part two of the jumping clinic, and had an equally great time. My fear was lessened, and Paul even had us jumping bigger and wider fences than Mashallah had ever seen before. I left there feeling invincible. Well, not invincible, but at least thinking that Mashallah and I could some day jump again at a horse show.

This was the month I also started to write again. My local real estate organization was looking for Realtors to write articles for local news publications. I have a degree in journalism, and although certainly rusty, I knew I still had the skills, and decided to write an article for them.

It was months before it was published, but this was the first step in my return to writing.

March

I always planned for Mashallah to be my hunt horse after she made it pretty clear she had absolutely no interest in doing dressage. After two successful jumping clinics, it was time to take her out in the field and do some hunter paces.

This was our first time, but I was with two experienced hunter pace riders, and we were doing the non-jumping route, so I felt pretty good about my chances of staying fuzzy side up. My biggest fear was the water crossings, which Mashallah was not the greatest about. If she could jump them, she would, and it was neither pretty or easy to stay aboard when she set her mind to launch.

We stayed fuzzy side up, got in a few good gallops, and had a few ugly launches over the streams, but also a few great non-eventful crossings. Our entire team, humans and equines, had a blast. I couldn’t wait to do it again!

April

It was time for me to take Mashallah out to her first horse show of the year, and her second show ever. The day was cold, rainy and miserable, and the show was packed. The warm up ring was absolute chaos, and I didn’t get a chance to take her over any fences. The footing was slippery, and Mashallah wasn’t happy. But we persevered.

In the end, we decided to forgo the jumping classes out of safety. The footing was uneven, and the wet grass was slippery. I felt like I was justified in my decision, and not chickening out, as we still did the flat classes, and even came away with a ribbon. She was quiet, professional, and overall, perfect. I couldn’t have been happier with her performance.

May

Mashallah and I got all cleaned up again and tackled another show, this time at Red Gate Farm. The farm was packed with riders, ponies, horses and spectators, and there were over 30 people in each of my classes.

I didn’t care if I got a ribbon, as this time, come hell or high water, we were going to jump. My only goal was to not fall off.

The footing was perfect, so I had no excuse to bail out.

They were probably the ugliest jumping rounds ever, and I didn’t care. After a particularly ugly warm up round, Mashallah and I jumped two clean rounds, and my first complete rounds at a show since that disastrous fall in 2008. The smile on my face says it all — We were back!

June

June was a tough month in the bravery department. It all started with a simple phone call that I normally would have let go to voice mail, but for whatever reason, I answered. It was this guy, Billy Ekofo, who said he had a goal to meet three new people each week, and seeing my profile on Facebook and that we had a number of mutual friends, asked me out for coffee.

I knew he was a Real Estate recruiter, and I made a few things clear right from the start. I told him I was happily married and not looking for a “bit on the side” and that I was very happy with my brokerage, and not looking to move. He cracked up laughing, and said he was also happily married, and in all of his years, no body had ever answered him that way on a recruiting call. I figured what the heck, why not, and we met for coffee.

Long story short, I made the decision to change brokerages. Having to tell my broker of nearly four years that I was moving had me so stressed out, I started to throw up. I love all the people at my old brokerage, and I was terrified they were all going to hate me because I was leaving. The day before I sat down with my old broker I spent in bed, terrified to the point I couldn’t move. I made my husband role play the conversation I would have with my broker until I was fairly confident I had down what I wanted to say.

Sitting down with my broker, I was nearly in tears. I forgot everything I had practiced in my role playing with my husband. My biggest fear, and not an irrational one, was I was going to throw up all over her desk.

I explained my decision — my new company was going to be better for me financially, and I was getting opportunities my old company didn’t offer. I made it very clear it was not personal, and I told her my fear that they were all going to hate me, and I almost started to cry. At that point, she came over and hugged me. She wished me well, and said we would always be friends, and that if things didn’t work out, she would be there to welcome me back with open arms.

I have always been afraid of disappointing others and often done things I didn’t want to do just to make others happy. I think in my 44 years, this is one of the first times in my life I did something knowing it would upset other people but knowing it was the right thing for me. After the conversation, I felt so much lighter. I knew there were still hard conversations ahead as the news “went public” but I am still friends with everyone at my old brokerage, and have made some amazing friends at my new one.

At the time, I thought this move was going to be the end of me, but looking back, I realize that I didn’t need to be so terrified. My friends at my old brokerage are still my friends, and I miss seeing them all the time, but we are all still there for each other. It proves we were really all friends, not just colleagues, and I am so grateful to have them all in my life.

July

Faith is the Supreme Queen of our farm. She is a 22 year old Hanoverian mare, and the undisputed heavyweight champion of our little world.

Two years ago, she blew her deep digital flexor tendon, and was unceremoniously retired from work. She had worked hard her entire life, and was instrumental in my regaining my confidence after the aforementioned disaster of 2008.

After her injury, we were able to get her back to somewhat sound and pain free, but the chances of her blowing that tendon again were too high for me to risk. My vet did say it was fine for her to do gentle trail rides, but between everything else I had going on, it just never happened.

Mashallah was having some issues with her feet, so while she healed, I had no one to ride. Things weren’t working out with my other horse, Saki, and he was on a little vacation, too. So on a nice warm day, Faith and I went on a trail ride. Although not having been ridden in nearly two years, she was perfectly behaved aside from a little tantrum about crossing a stream. We rode alone on all of our old paths, saw our favorite historic remains and for the first time in months, I stopped thinking about everything and just enjoyed our time together. Faith was having fun, and eager to go forward and explore. She was pain free, sound, and happy.

I was worried about how she would feel the next day, and she was absolutely fine. I now no longer worry about taking her out for a ride here and there, and it certainly improves her cranky old-lady attitude for a few days afterward. I think she likes having an occasional job, aside from just being the Queen. This wasn’t one of my specific set monthly goals, but more of a life lesson learned. Despite everything that goes wrong, stresses me out and downright causes fright, cherish those moments when you can just let your mind be quiet, and seek them out when you can. Now, Faith and I go out once or twice a month just to reconnect and enjoy the amazing bond I am lucky to have with this extraordinary mare.

August and September

As part of my new business marketing plan, I started writing more articles about Real Estate. Billy was a huge supporter of my writing, and urged me to write an article for Inman News, a National real estate news company. Aside from the one article I had written back in February, I hadn’t used my super expensive journalism degree in over two decades. I felt rusty, but eager to accept the challenge.

Since then, I have lent my voice to a few articles a month. Sometimes taking a humorous tone but more often writing serious advice for agents, I am blending two talents into one respectable and hopefully useful result. I used to be nervous every time I sent in an article, but not anymore. Once I got comfortable writing regularly again, I wrote my assignments taking a new and different angle often on an already well-discussed topic.

I also opened my account on Medium, so I had an outlet to write my more personal stories, like this one.

I used to be afraid of what people would think about my articles. Do they think I am a talented writer? Will my readers like what I have to say?

Sometimes they do and sometimes they don’t.

In the few short months since I rekindled my passion for words, I have had praise and also some not-so-glowing comments on my work. I was even trolled a few times.

The first time I was trolled, I had an absolute panic attack. I thought the company I wrote for was going to fire me. Then my editor told me something that completely changed my outlook. Good writing promotes discussion and sometimes the discussion gets heated. That’s when you know you have done your job well.

October

You know you have hit the “big time” as a farmer when you get hooked up with a local director who needs farm animals for a show.

Main Street Theater Productions put on a production of Oklahoma and wanted goats and a chicken for one of the scenes. When I spoke with the director I was pretty clear that these were not trained theater goats (if indeed such a thing exists). She was fine with that. I also told her that the goats were probably going to pee and poop and possibly scream on stage. She said no problem. I also said they were mini silky fainting goats, but they had yet to faint for us, so it was unlikely that would happen, but just in case, I’m going to let you know. She said she couldn’t wait to meet them.

So, leash training began, and they took to it with no problems. Then we had to get them used to riding in the car, and again, no problems.

The hardest part was getting them on the stage! They didn’t like having to walk through the dark hallway and then going out onto the very bright stage. Once we shoved them on the stage, they were fine, especially as we were bribing them with large quantities of Cheerios, their favorite snack food.

The goats were onstage for about 20 minutes during a very loud singing, stomping, gun-shooting, brawling number. The boys that handled the goats in the scene were complete professionals and very excited to work with the goats. I told them what to do in any possible situation where things could go wrong, and there were quite a few things I could imagine going wrong.

My husband and I stayed in the wings during the number just in case there needed to be an emergency hand off back to us. It was quite a lesson in learning to let go, as once we got the goats on the stage, there was nothing we could do if anything went wrong, which happily, was not an issue. Yes, they did pee and poop on stage, and they did bleat along with the music. They were an absolute hit!

November

As well as things worked out with our goats, things were not working out with one of my horses. My boy, Saki, was just too much horse for me to handle, and as my Rheumatoid Arthritis progressed, I just no longer had the strength to ride him safely.

This is far from my first time selling a horse, but it’s hard to let any animal go that you have grown to love. I ended up selling him and getting a very sweet young mare that is much calmer and less reactive by nature.

So, my new partner in crime came home, and we named her Shayleigh, meaning “fairy princess.” She is a very sweet mare that had a rough start to life and almost ended up at a slaughterhouse, by no fault of her own.

She certainly isn’t perfect, but I am so thankful things worked out where this baby girl gets a second chance, and my talented boy gets to do a job he loves with a great group of people.

December

December is always the month where Real Estate is dead as everyone is busy preparing for the holidays and the weather is fickle. I had some extra free time, and started looking for paid freelance writing work. I figured at best, I could make some money, and at worst, I waste a few hours putting out bids for freelance work. I received an opportunity to write news articles for Via News, an International News Service based in Lisbon, Portugal, as well as some posts for a credit union looking to revamp their blog site.

I didn’t realize how far I had come until I started writing this piece. I went from writing one article for my local newspaper back in February to ending the year writing for an International audience. I am now putting out feelers to find a publisher for a book I have been slowly writing, with the hope I can finally finish it in 2018 and get it published.

My 2017 baby step approach to getting braver paid off. From achieving more of my riding goals, getting back into writing for an audience, making new friends and gaining much needed self-confidence both in and out of the saddle, I have no regrets about my quest for a braver self.

I plan to do the same exercise in bravery in 2018, except push myself outside of my comfort zone twice a month. Who knows where this year’s attempts will lead me and where I will be when I write my year in review 12 months from now?

Add a comment

What is your view?

Send

Related posts:

Starting the Startup Thinking Game

At oneUp we believe that startups are the future. Not just for actual startups, but also (or especially!) for existing corporations. To explain why this is, how we work and why that is awesome, we…

A Racist Neighborhood Learned A Lesson From A Factory Worker

Neighbors saw spotlights flickering from a yard in the neighborhood. Spotlights from the three-acre backyard of a factory worker named Pearl Fryar. Years earlier, while house-hunting, Fryar learned…

What is the whole buzz around Atomic Design and Design Thinking?

Atomic design and design thinking, the new normal in the UI/UX industry is soaring high. Designers and developers across the globe are actively embracing the terminology to change their traditional…