Am I Doing This Right!

“AM I DOING THIS RIGHT?” MODERN PARENT CONTEST

It was March’2020 and I was reeling under the success of the annual School Fest in my kids’ school, as I was actively involved in the planning and execution of the same, being a Parent Teachers Association (PTA) member. The applaud had barely died, when the school closed for the spring break, with an assurance of its reopening after a week.

Like all other Moms, I too was stressed and wondering how to keep my 7-year-old engaged in that one week. Little did I know that it was not just that one week but many more to come. We were hearing news of the pandemic soaring in other parts of the world and lockdowns being imposed to curtail the same.

We were waiting with bated breath as to when the impending lockdown will hit our country, India. Just a day before the schools were to reopen, the Lockdown was announced. The media was full of dos and Don’ts of the lockdown.

Immediately my thought went to my little girl, who like all her age loved playing outdoors, going to nature trails, campouts, vacations. Being gregarious she always had friends coming over and loved birthday parties. But above all, she loved going to school.

Then, began the unending and unprecedented journey that we parents, across geographies and demographics went through and are still enduring.

The new life that was thrust upon us brought the challenges of homeschooling, work from home and no household help.

The first couple of months, we were charged with making things happen beginning with being on time for our online schooling, online office, finishing all household chores on time and not letting the cheer down.

The online school transition was seamless as the school and teachers were technology savvy and had the infrastructure to sustain the challenge. My child was extremely charged up when it came to sitting in the online classroom, exploring the nuisances of ZOOM as is with every millennial, much fascinated by the concept of “breakout rooms” and pestering her teacher to teach her how this wonderful thing can happen on her Zoom account so that the same can be used during our family zoom calls, where, when she was upset with someone, she could send them to the breakout rooms, though that was not the purpose for which it was used in the school. But Millennials as you know are creative people and have their own interpretation and perception.

In order, to adapt to the new normal, we were trying to keep connected using technology. Organising virtual birthday parties, playdates. Enrolling, her in dance sessions, music lessons, math sessions, coding lessons the list goes on, all in the guise of keeping her engaged and not miss on learning and for finding some time for ourselves.

Deep down in my heart, I knew all this was in vain and something was amiss until one day my darling refused to attend any of the online sessions that I had ‘bought’ for her. This was my “AM I DOING THIS RIGHT?” moment which prodded me, is learning all about gaining academic knowledge or is it also about life lessons?

The answer was clear my child had learnt to be resilient; she was doing her chores on her own as we could not call our household help and hence learnt to appreciate the hard work done by people who were not as privileged as us, she had learnt to live a minimalistic life and value what she already had, as we no longer had the liberty to visit shops, malls or even do online shopping. She had started valuing friends and family even more. Not that we had not been trying to instil such a thought process in her, but this situation had put theory to practice.

Besides, the above she had started discovering herself with more time at hand. To share her feelings and yearning to go to the beach she composed a song dedicated to the beach. Going a step further when it came to a new pencil holder, she created one using an old chart paper. Her creativity had got unleashed and she even created a “Family Spin the Wheel Chores Chart,” so that that there was a fair division of labour.

Undoubtedly, in these 14 months, she has learnt to deal with deprivation to some extent and other important lessons which will go a long way in her life. But I cannot overlook the fact that both of us are completely burnt out by this new normal. We yearn to go to the playground, to plunge in the swimming pool, to have a game of tennis or basketball, play tag, have the chatter and laughter of friends once again not virtually but in person, travel and meet loved ones and of course to go back to school. She keeps checking with her homeroom teacher if she will get a chance to meet her in person. She keeps telling me,” Mum I miss the colourful corridors and my classroom at school, I so wanted to see how my grade 2 classroom looked.” I have no answers just assurances and hope as all this still looks like a distant dream.

As I write this, my country has had a devastating second wave which has taken away friends and family. I am explaining things to my kid as rationally as I can, so much so that one day when her grandfather broke down on hearing the news of losing a loved one, she told him “Nanu, this is the circle of life, it will happen to all of us.” I am happy that she has been able to articulate such an important fact of life but am saddened that she has matured way too early. I am saddened that she is missing out on the childhood pleasures and looks like she will continue to live in this new normal as we await the third wave which has been predicted to affect kids.

I have started preparing her for this wave too by reinforcing COVID appropriate behaviour, cautiously telling her that the current way of life is there to stay for another 6 to 7 months. I do not know “AM I DOING THIS RIGHT?”

I so wish I had a magical mirror that told me “YES YOU ARE DOING IT RIGHT.”

I do wish that I had a magic wand to eradicate this pandemic from the world.

From:

Sona khare,

46 years,

Mumbai,India

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